Hey Tracy,

It was good to instant message with Nick this morning, and I'm glad he got to call you last night.

I told him we honestly weren't surprised by the extension, and that the only thing to do was move forward. What I wanted to tell him was "How dare they do this to you, to us, to all the soldiers and their families who have been waiting so long with fingers crossed, hoping we really were seeing a light at the end of the tunnel? Is this a preview of what is to come when your 4 year commitment expires in August? Will they hold you there with Stop Loss just because they can? I sure don't see anyone rushing in to take your places...."

But he sounds good regarding his unit's extension; disappointed of course, yet resigned to the situation. I just wish people knew how tired, overextended and understaffed our troops are. Americans really don't seem to know, or even care. When did we become so cavalier?

I wanted to believe Nick would be on that plane, headed home just after Christmas. But we kept telling ourselves not to expect it, didn't we? I lectured myself sternly not to get my hopes up just to have them shattered. I thought I had done a good job of it until you let me know -- at 12:21 AM Dec 1 -- that Nick's unit had just been extended until March.

And suddenly, there it was, the very thing I had attempted to protect myself against.all my smashed hope, broken in bits and pieces around my feet. How silly of me to think I would succeed.

You so wanted Nick home for your first anniversary, Honey, and I'm sorry it's not going to happen. Now, like you said, by the time he gets home you will have been apart longer than you've been together.

So back we go to holding our breath. some days tolerable, most pure hell.

Nick knew how I felt about this war before he left, but we don't talk about it. He doesn't want me to worry about the ugliness he experiences and I refuse to burden him with my anguish over the unjustness of the cause. I just play the game, and try to keep his spirits up. We all do.

When he finally gets home we can breathe again. It's just going to take longer than we thought.

I love you,

Teri

This is Teri Allison with her son Nick who serves in the 25th Infantry in Kirkut, Iraq. Nick's service was just extended through March. He had been scheduled to end his one-year tour of duty just after Christmas.

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